Wet N Wild
by Predominantly Normal
Summary: Tweek is afraid of Killer Whales and their evil plans for humankind. Crack!


**I DO NOT OWN SOUTH PARK**

_Author's Notes:_

_-I've been at Orlando, and a day or so ago, I visited Sea World. There was this gay couple taking photos by the whale tanks. It's been really rainy, and this piece of weirdness is my thought train._

_-Don't take this seriously. I just wanted to write some lighthearted shit at 11 am. _

_-Reviews to pay for defense against Tilly!_

* * *

"Craig! They're so soft!" Tweek squealed, dunking his arm in the sting ray tank once more to rub the backs of the Cownose Rays.

It was a wonder that Tweek was fascinated enough to even edge near the rays; let alone pet their backs. Their little tails flew out behind them as they flocked around their tank. Craig shook his head, chuckling. Tweek had a wide smile, his crooked, coffee-stained teeth peeking out under his lip. A blue plush whale hat sat on his head, blonde tufts of hair peeking out of the edges. A pale brown sting ray dipped across the surface, it's wing splashing some water up into Tweek's face. Said seventeen-year-old just laughed and stuck his hand back out.

Not everyone knew, but Tweek loved marine animals. He especially enjoyed the 'cute' ones. Like the rays he was petting, or the dolphins. Craig himself had grown attached to water creatures after saving Willzyx.

"I want one." Tweek declared, turning to Craig with a completely serious face.

"Too bad." Craig objected, smirking secretly. "They're probably expensive."

"Oh." Tweek sighed, sniffing his fingers experimentally. "Cownose rays smell horrible."

"Come on." Craig slunk his hand around Tweek's small waist. He dragged the twitchy blonde away easily, despite Tweek's efforts to go back and pet the rays. "I wanna see the killer whales."

Tweek stopped dead in his tracks, eyes widening. "No!" He yelped. "Whales scare me, man! What if it kills me?"

"They are called 'killer whales'" Craig pointed out. "And you didn't have any objections to sending Willzyx to the moon. You hosed him off yourself."

Tweek whined. "I know that." He closed his eyes and took in a huge breath.

Craig rolled his icy eyes and dragged Tweek over to the killer whale tanks. They weren't very far away; maybe a few minutes worth of walking. There was a window looking into the tank at the corner of the stadium. Craig yanked his boyfriend over and pressed his face to the glass. Tweek followed suit, sans pressing his face against the germ-filled glass.

A killer whale swam around at an amble pace, his floppy dorsal fin curling to one side.

"That's Tilly." Craig pointed to the whale. "He's the one that killed the lady. I read online that he ripped her apart, pummeled her, and drowned her all at once. It took them forty-five minutes to even get him to leave the bloodstained area." He dully noticed that Tweek had attached himself to his arm, shaking wildly.

"_Ohgod_; please don't make me do this." Tweek hissed, shoving his pale face into Craig's arm. "I don't wanna die..." He drawled.

"You won't." Craig deadpanned, taking Tweek by his arm to get seats on the other side of the stadium.

The two sat down in the very front row, not minding the slight drizzle of rain coming from above. After waiting for an unreasonably long time, the show began to start. The electronic screen on front played a montage of save-the-earth tapes. The background music picked up and out of nowhere at all, a gigantic killer whale leaped out of the water. Tweek screamed, clutching onto Craig's arm.

The whale was followed by others, and they performed flawless tricks, hopping, twisting and swimming through the large tank. Suddenly, it performed a gigantic leap into the air. Craig recognized the large sea mammal as Tilly.

Tilly crashed back into the water, his gigantic whale body sending tremors throughout the water's surface. A dip in the crystal blue water and a colossal wave followed after, dunking Craig and Tweek. The blonde screamed, hopping up at least a foot before pulling himself off his bench and running out the emergency exit. Slapping his own face, Craig followed, begrudgingly flipping off anyone who stared as he trotted after his boyfriend.

The rain had really picked up now, spraying Craig down head to toe as he stepped out into the park grounds. He placed a hand to his forehead, searching for Tweek. Thankfully, Tweek always had sucked at Hide 'N Seek. And it wasn't exactly tough to find a seventeen year old with a blue whale hat on hiding behind a garbage can. Craig sighed, walking towards the garbage disposal. A hand jerked out and snatched his ankle, tripping him and throwing him onto the ground painfully.

"Craig!" Tweek hissed, pulling Craig's limp body further behind the trash bin. "The whales are coming! Hide...!"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Tweek?" Craig growled, rubbing his side that had clashed against the stone ground.

"They're gonna cover the earth in water and make _US_ do tricks for _their_ entertainment, Craig!" Tweek screamed in a hushed voice.

"The earth is already 75% water." Craig pointed out.

"They're already 75% percent done! Gah!" Tweek yelped.

Craig sighed, watching with interest as Tweek started to ramble on about how we were all going to fall by the hand- fin - of the killer whales. He rolled his eyes and pressed his lips to Tweek's momentarily. Pulling back, Craig brushed a stray strand of golden hair out of Tweek's forehead.

"Wanna go pet the rays?" Craig asked politely, kissing his boyfriend. Tweek shivered.

"Uh-huh." Tweek nodded. "They're so soft, you know."

"Yeah, Tweek. I know."


End file.
